Breaking Vows: Is it bad to hire an attractive home helper?

The fear of hiring an attractive home helper is that he or she will lead someone into temptation. I don’t buy into the idea that the temptation of an attractive home helper absent anything else will result in an affair. There are a lot of other factors that come into play such as a lack of healthy boundaries, unequal power dynamics, etc.

The problems that can arise from not setting healthy boundaries and allowing unequal power dynamic is that it creates a hostile work environment and also makes it significantly easier for inappropriate behavior to happen. Which could lead to an affair.

Examples of unhealthy boundaries and unequal power dynamics

Unhealthy Boundaries

Talking about martial problems

Asking home helper about their personal life example: Asking if they have a boyfriend etc.

That being said there are some red billboards to be on the lookout for to avoid finding yourself in that situation.

Red Billboards

One of the most potent is there has either been recent infidelity in the marriage or if one of the individuals has a pattern of cheating. As one wise person once told me “People are creatures of habit”

Second is if anyone has insecurity in regards to their appearance, age, etc. Because hiring an attractive home helper would make the insecurity worse and might potentially result in abusive behavior towards the home helper.

Unrealistic expectations of the home helper. Whenever a job happens in the domestic sphere there will be some individuals whom will use it as an excuse to mistreat the home helper.  If all else fails, remember that he/she is a human being.

One option is for the person whom the home helper daily interacts with not to be the person whom hires him/her. Instead the person whom the home helper doesn’t interact with on a daily basis is the person who hires them.

This prevents anyone from using and/or manipulating the unequal power dynamic and also makes it easier for home helper to voice their concerns or incidents of inappropriate behavior.

Verbally and have a printed out examples of healthy boundaries, and make sure that the home help understands that he/she can always tell you if and when something happens.  Also give the home helper personal phone number just in case something happens that makes them feel extremely uncomfortable. If a crime does occur always encourage home helper to contact local police.

In conclusion before you hire an attractive home helper you need to review yourself as well as your spouse. Also be sure that the person whom hires the home helper is the not the one with whom they will have daily interactions with.

If cheating occurs, it saids more about the person whom cheats than you.

https://www.newvision.co.ug/new_vision/news/1330488/hire-beautiful-housemaid

Pretty Girls Need Not Apply: Why I Would Never Hire An Attractive Nanny

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